Poetry: “Lighthouse” by Smriti Bhoker
Smriti Bhoker brings a levity to her poem, which easily could turn dark, as she taps into the well of fear that lives in every writer’s heart—what if we find ourselves suddenly unable to write? It goes beyond writer’s block and into something deeper, darker, more painful. Sometimes the world is so vast and senseless that writing just doesn’t seem like enough, a strong enough reaction to what Bhoker eloquently dubs, “a lighthouse of grief.” A lighthouse is supposed to guide ships to safety, but Bhoker’s lighthouse is leading her somewhere else. It’s somehow satisfying when the poem doesn’t end with an answer to the questions she asks, because there are no answers. We’re human, and we ask. We’ll keep asking, probably forever. But at least now we have a lighthouse to guide us.
Lighthouse
There is a sincere amount of meditation
Followed by dread
Followed by a long long wait
There is a thirst, a longing, a hunger, and a drink
A sea, a doorway, a half-cooked meal, and a hangover
There is a lighthouse of grief
Where your mother lives with her untapped potential
There is a desert full of elephants
I am not quite sure what that means
There is a cursor blinking, calling, begging, craving, forcing your hand
An empty page mocking you
The worst of all is the silence that’s waltzing in the air
Right before the deadly kiss on your ears
It is interrupted by the ticking of the clock
The brazen pace of youth, dwindling like a weak flame
You pick up the pen only to ask yourself
What all those elephants meant
There is a sincere amount of meditation
Followed by dread
Knocking on the door of an estranged lover
You never stopped loving
How long should your apology be?
Where do we see each other in the next 10 years?
How do you go back to writing again?
Smriti Bhoker
Smriti Bhoker is an Urdu poet, lyricist, screenwriter, and culture essayist based in Mumbai, India, where she works with an indie record label. With a master's degree in sociology, she brings a deep understanding of culture and society into her creative work. Smriti has published two Urdu books that fall under the genre of political poetry. Smriti’s work often explores themes of identity, language, and social narratives.
